What was Osama bin Laden doing when the Navy Seals came knocking?

America's Finest News Source has the "scoop" on it:

NEW YORK—Osama bin Laden, 54-year-old leader of the international terrorist group al-Qaeda and mastermind of the 9/11 attacks that took nearly 3,000 American lives in 2001, was killed early Monday morning in Pakistan while sitting on the toilet, the U.S. populace took great pleasure in imagining today. “Just thinking about the stupid look on that evil bastard’s face when those Navy SEALs kicked in the bathroom door and started blasting away—it’s so totally priceless,” said Queens, NY resident Rachel Sumner, one of 311 million Americans who reveled in a fictional scenario in which bin Laden met his gruesome and humiliating end while sitting on the commode, humming to himself, and reading a newspaper. “And him frantically trying to pull up his boxer shorts seconds before some badass Special Forces guy blows his head off—ha, ha! What a fucking moron.” Some Americans have disputed this fabricated version of bin Laden’s death, explaining they prefer to imagine the terrorist leader being surprised by Navy SEALs while wearing bright red lipstick, trying on ladies’ clothing, sashaying in front of a full-length mirror, and saying, “Who’s the prettiest little girl? Osama's the prettiest little girl!”

Everything will be fine as long as our sense of humor and satire never go away, nor are curtailed ...
A bonus: a slideshow on OBL :)

On a serious analysis, Christopher Hitchens employs his verbal skills:

we won't have to put up with a smirking video when the 10^th anniversary of his best-known atrocity comes around. Come to think of it, though, he hadn't issued any major communiqués on any subject lately (making me wonder, some time ago, if he hadn't actually died or been accidentally killed already), and the really hateful work of his group and his ideology was being carried out by a successor generation like his incomparably more ruthless clone in Iraq, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. I find myself hoping that, like Zarqawi, Bin Laden had a few moments at the end to realize who it was who had found him and to wonder who the traitor had been. That would be something. Not much, but something.

A vast number of questions remain to be answered ... by this administration and the previous ones ... I favor Jack Shafer's reminder on this:

the fog of breaking news almost always cloaks the truth, especially when the deadline news event is a super-top-secret military operation conducted by commandos halfway around the world and the sources of the sexiest information go unnamed.