Oh, men! ... Everything is comedy

A few weeks ago, when I was in Los Angeles, I walked over to Trader Joe's, which was an easy fifteen minutes on foot.  I wanted to pick up flowers to brighten up my daughter's and son-in-law's charming home that was being dulled by my presence.  Plus, hey, which daughter won't like flowers, right?

I picked up a bouquet that I planned to arrange according to my own tastes.  It is like preparing food dishes the way I like them, even if not the best way.

When I reached the checkout counter, the young dude--perhaps not even twenty-five, did his part at small talk, from which one cannot escape here in these United States.

"Ooh, the wife will be happy" he said.

I smiled first.  Then said "no wife."

He should have called it quits.  But, I suppose that like me, he too wasn't all sauve.  I know that feeling of being a klutz!

"For your girlfriend, eh" .... and then he thought he was correcting himself to something more politically correct when he said, "oh, sorry, for your significant other."

Perhaps he switched to "significant other" because it suddenly occurred to him that I could be gay.  I don't blame him if after that he suspended any small talk for a couple of days; life is way too complicated for small talk now.

When walking back home, I kept thinking about the dude's failed attempt at small talk.  It seems like female checkout clerks are always more measured and careful in their small talk compared to the men.  At any age.  It has to do with us men, I decided.  Perhaps because we want to be funny.  Right from our elementary school days, the class clowns were boys and not girls.

I then remembered the wonderful line that Vanessa Lynn Redgrave sarcastically delivers with the accent of the character that she plays in Gods and Monsters:

Oh, men! Always pulling legs. Everything is comedy. Oh, how very amusing. How marvelously droll.

Yes, marvelously droll!

I reached home and put those flowers together as an arrangement.

The daughter returned home after another tiring day on the job.  As any father would, I waited for the daughter to appreciate the marvelous droll who brought those flowers.

She saw them.

She smiled.

She said a big thanks.

Made my day.

That Trader Joe's dude can rest easy.

Earlier today, I drove to the local Trader Joe's to restock my pantry.  Pantry, with an "r,"  See "marvelously droll" I am being even now!

At the checkout counter, it was a team--a young woman at the scanner and a young man bagging.

"Any fun plans for today?" she asked.

"If you call grading papers fun, yes" I replied.  See, we men want to be funny all the time!

The young man didn't want to be left out, I suppose.  "Oh yeah, what grade do you teach?"

I smiled.  "I teach at the university."

His face shrunk.  I wanted to tell him, "hey, no big deal.  I fail at small talk like you. Sympatico"

I didn't. I kept walking.  Papers to be graded were waiting for me.