Stop saying "no problems" and "have a nice day"

Maybe the older I get, the more I am becoming like an Archie Bunker or a Andy Rooney complaining about a new and strange cultural habit.  But, hey, I have my own pet peeves, one of which is the usage "no problems."

That the American expression “no problem” has certainly caught on—even all the way to the other side of this planet—is simply yet another example of the remarkable influence that the American way of life has on the rest of the world. The old expression was “when in Rome, do as Romans do” during the years when the Roman Empire was its high point. Now, it seems like we might as well update it to, “wherever you are, do as Americans do.”  

It is a common phrase even at the website where I play bridge online—players from anywhere on the planet use “no problem” as a response. In fact, it is such a common usage that we merely type “np” so that we can speed through the game itself.

I suppose it is very American to be informal with the language. Remember Professor Higgins remarking quite caustically about this in “My Fair Lady”? “There even are places where English completely disappears; in America they haven't used it for years.”

As a kid—yes, back in India—we said “hi”, which we associated with an American usage, and to this day I can recall my father loudly disapproving what he thought was a disrespectful and casual usage. At school, our teachers were not fond of us adopting “yeah” over “yes” either.

Now, “yeah” and “hi” are so commonplace there that I don’t think my father even notices them anymore. He now does not even notice when the young men and women at the sales counters wish him “have a nice day” after the transactions are completed. Maybe he has given up fighting these trends!

When the German equivalent of “have a nice day” was introduced in some of the retail establishments in Germany a few years ago, there were loud protests because this was equated with Americanization of German culture. I wonder if since then the practice has been entirely discontinued.

To some extent, phrases like “have a nice day” or “no problems” are usages that don’t necessarily imply that the person completely and sincerely meant the words. Yet, I guess the writers of the letters watch out for them and express concern about misuse—even abuse—of the language because they value the words and the meanings. Maybe this is the verbal equivalent of “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

There is one phrase I eagerly look forward to when I reach the immigration desk upon returning to the American soil. And that is “welcome home.” It is simply exciting to hear that every time, even though I am fully aware that immigration officers might mean it as much as when the person at the checkout counter says “have a nice day.”

I do get terribly disappointed when I do not get a “welcome home” from the immigration officers, which has happened the last three returns to the US.  I can only hypothesize that our preoccupation with security for the homeland has resulted in less friendly and more formal interactions at airport immigration areas. Or, maybe my bearded and Middle Eastern appearance does not allow the officers to warm up to this casual and informal American.

Interestingly, once, as I was exiting the customs area, the officer checked off my completed form and said “shukriya.” Shukriya means “thank you” in Hindi, but the word is an import—from “shukran” in Arabic.

Lest the reader think I was delighted with a “shukriya” from the customs officer, well, I was not. I was ready to clarify to him that I grew up in the southern part of India where Hindi is not a commonly used language, and that there is widespread opposition to making it an official language. But, I merely smiled at the officer and said, “have a nice day.”