Macho, macho man!

One of the long-running topics in this blog is about how girls, who have been discriminated against historically all through the world, are now rapidly redefining what it means to be woman, and about boys whose worlds appear to be shrinking.

Now, don't jump up and aim for my jugular immediately as a reflex.  Do it after you have had to think about it for a while.

I will start with a simple example first.  In the old country, in the old days, girls and women had to wear only the traditional female dresses.  Four decades ago, when my sister was a teenager, she was not allowed to wear jeans--because it was not an approved female attire. Now, wait a second, do not jump to any conclusion that India was all backward then.  Do you recall the fight that women had to fight in this country so that they could wear pants to work?  Do you recall the nasty jokes on Hillary Clinton because she wore pantsuits?  They made fun of that even when she was a presidential candidate!

In urban India, it is no longer news when a girl wears jeans, and when a woman wears trousers.  They wear tshirts and shirts, just like we men do.  Some even wear shorts in the old country.

So, to recap: Girls and women can wear whatever they want, even the outfits that used to exclusively men's.  Right?

So, if your five year old boy prefers to wear those colorful skirts that he finds some girls wearing, will you let him wear those skirts?  What if your nine-year old boy wants to wear skirts?

I use the example of outfits only because all of us can easily relate to them.  It is not an alien topic.

Girls and women are increasingly finding that they can do what ever they want to, and be whatever they want to, and wear whatever they want to.  I say, good for them.  And good for societies that actively encourage that.  We should pat ourselves on our backs for this.  They can be astronauts, neurosurgeons, programmers, CEOs, and more, even as they can also go after jobs that were once reserved for women--teachers, nurses, etc.  Their world has expanded.  Right?

How about for boys?

Aha, you are not so ready to aim for my jugular now, are you?

At this point, I want to provide you the link to a thoughtful NY Times story: Many Ways to Be a Girl, but One Way to Be a Boy.  That title seems to be all about what I have been ranting about, right?

Now, I don't want to be naive--biology plays a huge role.  When those hormones kick in, we begin to act in a certain way.  Especially boys, who are driven crazy by the testosterone that rushes through their system.  But, it is up us to teach boys and girls, and to guide young men and women, on why biology does not determine our fate.

As a middle-aged man, I am all the more convinced that we are messing up people's lives by not allowing boys to be children first.  Their male chromosome should not matter.  If, for instance, a boy wants to cry, let him; don't tell him that he cries like a girl.  If a boy wants to be nurse, encourage him.  Real men do all that, and more.

As a middle-aged man, I am also convinced that we are messing up people's lives by not allowing girls to be children first.  There should not be any discussion on how they look 24x7.  Girls should not be getting the message that they are getting that what they look like matters.

So, you still want to aim for my jugular?