Life and death ... of pets

Imagine telling somebody whose mother died, "sorry for your loss. In a few months, you can get another mother."

Sounds absurd, right?

Yet, that's what we almost routinely tell people who lost their pets.  Or say that without saying that.

If pet owning humans are like me, well, we aren't attached to any pet.  We are attached to that unique animal.  Like how we are attached to unique humans.

It has been years since my last dog died.  I have no intention of "replacing" him.  There ain't any dog like that fella.  Should I get another dog sometime in the future, it will be a new relationship--not a replacement.

Even the diagnosis of his enlarged heart condition was devastating. I immediately thought of my grandmother, who, too, was diagnosed with congenital heart enlargement.  Some good people and animals literally and figuratively have huge hearts that also leads to their premature deaths.  I suppose the mean-hearted like the current president live long lives; perhaps they literally have smaller hearts too!

There are some who take a long time to recover from the deaths of their beloved pets.  I recall a female colleague in my California years who was grief-stricken for weeks after her cat died.  She is not alone.

Losing a beloved pet is often an emotionally devastating experience. Yet, as a society, we do not recognize how painful pet loss can be and how much it can impair our emotional and physical health. Symptoms of acute grief after the loss of a pet can last from one to two months with symptoms of grief persisting up to a full year (on average). The New England Journal of Medicine recently reported that a woman whose dog died experienced Broken Heart Syndrome—a condition in which a person’s response to grief and heartbreak is so severe, they exhibits symptoms that mimic a heart attack, including elevated hormone levels that can be thirty times greater than normal.

I don't know how it is with cats.  But, dogs being so expressive and child-like, their deaths are too damn harsh.  I can easily imagine how some suffer serious health issues as a result.

Because pet loss is disenfranchised, many of the societal mechanisms of social and community support are absent when a cherished pet dies. Few of us ask our employers for time off to grieve a beloved cat or dog as we fear doing so would paint us as overly sentimental, lacking in maturity or emotionally weak. And few employers would grant such requests were we to make them. Studies have found that social support is a crucial ingredient in recovering from grief of all kinds. Thus, we are not only robbed of crucial support systems when our pet dies, but our own perceptions of our emotional responses are likely to add an additional layer of emotional distress. We may feel embarrassed and even ashamed about the severity of the heartbreak we feel and consequently, hesitate to disclose our distress to our loved ones.

It is not without reason that sometimes even the homeless people are out there with their pet dogs and cats.  Those animals love these unfortunate humans even when the rest of us humans barely even look at them. Imagine then the mental agony for a homeless person when his dog dies!

In my early years in America, I read an interview with whom I don't recall.  He said something along the lines of how one can have a happy life without any pet animals, but that life gets even better with a pet.  I can vouch for that.  He should have also added how much of a heart break it is when that pet dies.  Such is life!