We're children, needing other children

I grew up in a cultural context where it was believed that if one chanted mantras, well, good things will happen.  For quite a few years, I believed in that approach--after all, I was only a kid, who was being brainwashed into a certain way of thinking.

And then one day, the question arose within: If the mantras have that effect, then we should be able to bring about peace and prosperity in no time at all.  Of course, there are mantras for peace and prosperity.  There are mantras that when chanted rain should pour.   When the intended effects did not happen, the answer was always ready and waiting--the chanter was not qualified enough.

In the modern, secular, world, people chant mantras of different sorts believing that those will deliver happiness.  Epic failures.  But, such practices continue on.

The app I eventually chose messaged me every hour or so with a positive affirmation that I was supposed to repeat to myself over and over. “I am beautiful,” or “I am enough.”

Mantras!  Instead of some "holy" man teaching one the mantra, now an app coded by some stranger teaches one to recite the mantra.

I wish people would be confident like me, and go around proudly proclaiming that I am ugly. I am bald. I am an idiot.  I tell ya, these are immensely confidence-boosting because they are honest to the core!

Ok, sarcasm aside, people have always struggled to be at peace and be happy.  Some might want to explain this as the inevitable result of the original sin.  Others might preach for a path towards nirvana that will deliver us from these existential struggles.  I wish people would understand that what we are going through is not all that different from what our ancestors went through.  Once we recognize it, well, only after that can we begin to understand that chanting mantras won't help.

But while placing more and more emphasis on seeking happiness within, Americans in general are spending less and less time actually connecting with other people.

Increasingly around the world too.

There is a difference between happiness that is within, versus a belief that happiness comes from within.  Happiness that is within refers to the intangibles that make us truly happy, as opposed to the tangible stuff that we accumulate.  The intangibles, it turns out, are dependent on people.

if there is one point on which virtually every piece of research into the nature and causes of human happiness agrees, it is this: our happiness depends on other people.Study after study shows that good social relationships are the strongest, most consistent predictor there is of a happy life, even going so far as to call them a “necessary condition for happiness,” meaning that humans can’t actually be happy without them. This is a finding that cuts across race, age, gender, income and social class so overwhelmingly that it dwarfs any other factor.

To recap, this is what most people seem to be doing: Buy a whole bunch of stuff, travel as tourists without gaining any understanding, and waste a whole lot of time by themselves either watching TV or on social media.  To make things worse, they hang out with the wrong kind of people.  And then they wonder what they can do make themselves happy!

So, what can one do?  First, stop chanting any mantra--religious or secular.   Then, 

The most significant thing we can do for our well-being is not to “find ourselves” or “go within.” It’s to invest as much time and effort as we can into nurturing the relationships we have with the people in our lives.

As simple as that.  All you need is a few good people around you to be happy.  Just a few.  And then happiness gushes from within.