Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Up yours! No need anymore?

Strong Language educates me that "giving the finger" is represented with two fingers by "Brits, Australians and New Zealanders":
The ‘up yours’ gesture is made with the index and middle finger raised and parted, and the palm facing towards yourself. It has similar connotations to the ‘middle finger’ gesture, but with an added element of defiance. The hand may be moved up and down for added effect.
I needed to know that as much as I need a digital rectal examination of my prostate!  I suppose I should be happy that I won't ever get the dreaded prostate exam by a physician from one of those countries who who might end up using two fingers!

After I turned fifty, when I went to meet the physician for a health check up, he raised the issue of checking my prostate.  It was a butt-clenching moment.  "Do I really have to get that done?" I asked him.

I am sure he has heard that from many men.  We men are wimps.  Women routinely get their breasts pushed and stuffed into machines in order to get themselves checked for breast cancer.  They lie down on tables for pap-smear-tests.  But, once in a rare while when we men have to undergo an uncomfortable examination that is intended for our own good, we become wimps.  Big time wusses, we are.

"If there is no family history of cancer at a young age, then it might be ok to skip it" the good doctor replied.  I could have hugged him for that, but then I am a man and we men stay away from expressing emotions.

Thankfully, I did not hug him.  Because that would have been premature.  The doctor added: "when you go in for a colonoscopy, you can tell the doctor to check your prostate also.  Make it a two-in-one."

I have not been to the doctor's office since then!  Colonoscopy?  Better kill me first!

There is good news for wusses like me:
Both the Cancer Council and the Royal Australian College of General Practitioners have recently recommended doctors dispense with the rectal examination when screening for prostate cancer.
But those are professionals from down under, by which I mean Australia, of course.

Oh well, I would rather be one of the men who "would peacefully co-exist with their mild prostate cancers if they were left undiscovered."  Here's to hoping that a digital rectal exam will be done on me only if it were a court-ordered autopsy procedure ;)


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