I am a work in progress

"The director of safety research at _____ also spoke at the session" the daughter said.

I was curious.  The daughter is in a field that has nothing to do with the corporation whose safety research director spoke at the event.

Which is when I became yet another evidence for how curiosity killed the cat!

"Really?  What is his connection to your field?" I asked with my usual curiosity.

Without missing a beat, almost like a reflex, the daughter responded.  "You mean her connection."

Boy did I feel awful.
Well, I continue to feel awful.

It was one hell of a reminder that deep down in my subconscious there are some sexist frameworks that continue to shape my understanding and view of the world.  I know that when I used "his" it was no slip--I was channeling an image of a male as the safety research director.  It was the default image.

"By the way" the daughter continued, "it was an Asian female."

She put me in my place there.

At least I didn't try any of the stereotypical male ways of dismissing all that with awful humor, or by defending my privileged male status.  I have learnt that much.

Another lesson in life.

It is not easy to get rid of the horribly screwed up frameworks that our families, societies, offer us when we are kids.
The privilege that boys and men have over girls and women.
The privilege as a Brahmin.
Gender, caste, race, religion, ... the list is seemingly endless.
It is almost as if we then spend the rest of our lives as adults trying to get rid of all the brainwashing from the earlier years.

"When I travelled the world after high school, that was when I realized how racist my people were" said an acquaintance recently over a lunch meeting.  A white guy he is.  That reminded me of a former colleague, also a white male, from my California days who often remarked that his grandparents had quite some difficulty transitioning to the idea that became the law--that blacks are not inferior to whites and that we are all equals.

To be educated does not simply mean to get that piece of paper and then to work and buy a car or a home.  Instead, whether through formal schooling or otherwise, education helps us make and remake ourselves into better humans.

Every day of our life is nothing but yet another opportunity to be educated on who we are.  Sometimes, the lessons are delivered by our daughters.  I hope I don't give the daughter more opportunities to school me ;)