Planning is different from overthinking, especially because "excessive planning can have other negative effects including exacerbating worries."
For instance, when planning carefully, it’s tempting to try to predict all the things that could possibly interfere with a plan and how to potentially handle such events should they occur, thereby initiating a process of worry. Others plan meticulously because they believe that they won’t be able to cope otherwise, which can lead to excessive worries when planning isn’t possible or unexpected events arise.
Unexpected events always arise. Life is a series of events over which we rarely have any control, though we like to claim agency when the outcomes are good.
While a career-ender is one thing, end of life is completely another. There is no escaping death that awaits us all. How does one plan for death? Should one plan for that final event? We plan for retirement. We develop plans to travel, even if all it means is developing a bucket list. Shouldn't one plan for kicking the bucket too?
Like many, I hope that I will quickly and painlessly go at a sweet spot in life. As one who compulsively plans, I have been an ardent supporter of dying with dignity. Should my physical and/or health conditions fail, I want to be able to exit this world with dignity.
It is not a coincidence that my first newspaper commentary after moving to Oregon was in support of the state's Death with Dignity Act, which the "pro-life" Republicans were all too keen on dismantling.
If you think that only recently have Republicans gone off the deep end, I need to remind you about the Terry Schiavo tragedy in the public sphere. It was godawful.
Schiavo was a young woman whose medical conditions resulted in an irreversible vegetative state. Her husband was ready to release her from this suspended state, but her parents opposed and sued. When the courts agreed that Terry Schiavo would have wanted the doctors to unplug her from the machines, Republicans took it up as cause célèbre.
From DC--yes, the same Republicans who yell and scream that Washington should not dictate--Republican senators adamantly stood against pulling her plug, in order to defend the sanctity of human life. Their leader in the Senate at that time, Bill Frist, who is a Harvard medical school product, even made his own diagnosis--without having ever met the patient! Not to be left out, President W. tried to influence the case through his executive authority.
I tell ya, the GOP has been home to nothing but nutcases and maniacs. That is how we ended up with tRump and trumpism!
Finally, after almost two decades in a vegetative state, Schiavo died in 2005 when the court-ordered removal of feeding tubes was carried out.
By then I was already an Oregonian. And had already authored an op-ed on the state's Death With Dignity Act. I wrote that in late 2002, soon after I moved to Oregon in response to the Bush administration's effort to overturn the Oregon law. That effort was led by a religious fanatic John Ashcroft, who was the then Attorney General.
How many terminally ill patients in Oregon chose to exit this planet on their own terms?
It is easy to answer that question: "The Act requires the Oregon Health Authority (OHA) to collect information about the patients and physicians who participate in the Act and to publish an annual statistical report." Last year:
As of January 21, 2022, 238 people had died in 2021 from ingesting the prescribed medications, including 20 who had received prescriptions in previous years. Demographic characteristics of DWDA patients were similar to those of previous years: most patients were aged 65 years or older (81%) and white (95%). The most common diagnosis was cancer (61%), followed by neurological disease (15%) and heart disease (12%)
And over the years?
In the "local" newspaper (not really local for a couple of years now) a local politician writes: "This month marks the 25th anniversary of Oregon's Death With Dignity Act; in approving the law, Oregon was the first state to authorize medical aid in dying."
The commentary is in line with my preference--it makes it personal.
My mother was a member of the Hemlock Society and taught me from an early age how critical it is for all of us to have agency over our bodies, our lives and our deaths. ...
Inspired by my mother’s example, I have begun end-of-life conversations with my children and family in the hopes that I can provide them with the gift of peace that my mother gave me. In honor of this important anniversary, I encourage my fellow Oregonians to do the same.
Not only Oregonians; I hope people think about these issues wherever they live. After all, death does not care for geography.
At the very least, we could all benefit from having the most difficult conversations and making clear one's end of life choices, of which Death with Dignity or going to Zurich are at the far end of the continuum. After all, we talk shit all the time. We have time for sports. We talk endlessly about the only President who was impeached twice. We talk forever about the weather, for heaven's sake. We definitely have time for this important conversation.
If you want some ideas on how to go about having such a talk with your people, check out the resources here.
In the meanwhile, enjoy the precious gift of life!
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