Planning v. overthinking

I suppose I inherited from my father the gene that makes me a compulsive planner.  It is a fine line that separates planning for one's life from the person becoming a worrywart.  While worries about the future are incentives to plan ahead, those worries can also preclude constructive action.

My hope is that I am a planner, who thinks ahead as much as possible, fully aware that shit happens.  Like an unplanned career-ending layoff.  Planning ahead prepares us for the shit that can happen anytime, anywhere.  We can at least mitigate the effects that can otherwise be disastrous.

While a career-ender is one thing, end of life is completely another.  There is no escaping death that awaits us all.  How does one plan for death?  Should one plan for that final event?

As one who compulsively plans, I have been an ardent supporter of dying with dignity.  Should my health conditions fail, I want to be able to exit this world with dignity.  It is not a coincidence that my first newspaper commentary after moving to Oregon was in support of the state's Death with Dignity Act, which the "pro-life" Republicans were all too keen on dismantling.

In an intensely personal essay, Lionel Shriver writes: "Above a certain subjective threshold of torment, life is not worth living. It fails a primitive cost-benefit analysis."  It is a personal calculation, of course that makes one question, "Should We Stay Or Should We Go"?

Like many, I hope that I will quickly and painlessly go at a sweet spot in life.  However, looking at this horizon is different from worrying about it.  Planning is different from overthinking, especially because "excessive planning can have other negative effects including exacerbating worries."

For instance, when planning carefully, it’s tempting to try to predict all the things that could possibly interfere with a plan and how to potentially handle such events should they occur, thereby initiating a process of worry. Others plan meticulously because they believe that they won’t be able to cope otherwise, which can lead to excessive worries when planning isn’t possible or unexpected events arise.

Unexpected events always arise.  Life is a series of events over which we rarely have any control, though we like to claim agency when the outcomes are good.

Of course, the "gene" that makes me a compulsive planner doesn't exist.  It is a behavior, which means that it can be easily changed as well.  Planners can become impulsive, and non-planners can learn to plan ahead.  Worrying is also a behavior that can be altered:

Many view overthinking as an innate personality trait; something we can’t change. However, overthinking, in terms of worry and rumination, is a learned strategy that we choose – consciously or unconsciously – in trying to deal with our thoughts and feelings. It’s basically a habit that we fall into, but we can learn to change it.

So, yes, plan ahead.  And worry less.  Be happy.