I am handsome. Really?

During my teenage years, I was convinced that I was not one of those guys with charming looks who instantly won girls over.  Had I known then the word "nerd," I would have instantly connected with that emotion-laden word.  In addition, almost every other week, like clockwork, a big fat zit would appear on my nose.

We never talked about feelings those years.  I did not even know it was possible.  All I knew was that I felt sad sometimes.  And perhaps was even on the verge of tears--but, of course, boys don't cry!  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder is all baloney, I decided.

I was not exaggerating much when I blogged a few months ago on life if one is not the object of dreams.  As I wrote there, I bet there are many among us who worried, or worry even now: "What if I were nothing but an ugly pile who could not, and would not, attract anyone?"

Of course, the pressure to look good is immensely worse on girls and women.  Even on older women.  A few years ago, when I told my mother that she ought to walk more, and get some sun on her for the essential vitamin-D, my father immediately jumped in and said that she could easily go for short walks in the morning after having coffee.  Seems logical, right?

My mother had a response that I could not have imagined.  She said that she had to look presentable when stepping out, and that meant she could do only after showering (or, take a bath, as they say in the old country.)  To her, going for a walk was not all that simple a thing as stepping out of the house.

A young Irish woman writes about the "embarrassment I felt as a teenager about not fitting some ideal of beauty."

Yes, we have all been there in some manner.  She then makes an important point about the contemporary "inclusivity ": "somewhere along the way, the message of inclusivity went from “every kind of person can be beautiful” to “every person is beautiful," which she argues is "actively harmful."

Wouldn’t it be freeing to admit that most people are not beautiful? What if we stopped prioritizing pleasing aesthetics above so much else? I wonder what it would be like to grow up in a world where being beautiful is not seen as a necessity, but instead a nice thing some people are born with and some people aren’t, like a talent for swimming, or playing the piano.

Quite an interesting way to think about it.  We say some are good at swimming, while others---like me--swim like a rock.  We state it as a fact.  The truth.  Why can't we be the same way about appearances?  Hmmm ...

In another part of the world, in Bangladesh,  a 29-year-old photographer documents the pressures on women in Bangladesh to be attractive through a unique series of photographs like the one that I have included in this post.

The women in Habiba's photos look bright and colourful but their faces are entirely covered, representing a loss of the inner self even though outwardly the women have made great efforts to look beautiful.
Habiba wants to draw attention to how much of themselves Bangladeshi women have to compromise to make others happy.

Life is complicated in so many ways!

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