Embrace the humanity ... if and when you find it!

"when was the last time you gave someone a gift just because"

When I read that, I paused and smiled.  Because, I did exactly that, just a couple of weeks ago.

Over the past few years, as I got older and wiser, I have done lots of such things.  Like the bar of chocolate I gave the gas station attendant on a cold and wet evening.

A few years ago, two guys came to replace the broken roof gutter.  As I handed them the check, I asked if they would like a couple of chocolate candies. They were as old as I was, but boy were they delighted.  It is not the age of the person. It is not the dollar-cost of the gift either.  It is that something special.

I never did such things when younger.  I was an inconsiderate idiot back then.  I am slowly getting better, and have a long way to go.

I started engaging in such acts because of the realization that interactions are not mere economic transactions.  I am dealing with fellow humans.  And especially when they come across as good people, I want to truly embrace the humanity they present.

Well consider what we normally do when we order coffee. We tend to simply enact the generic role of “coffee shop customer”. But when we do this we act more or less like anyone else enacting that role. There’s nothing wrong with that, and society chugs along nicely when we have these efficient public roles to enact. But when we enact them we don’t express our individuality much at all, and we tend not to really look and see the individual we are interacting with.
One way to create awesomeness is to break out of the role and express yourself to them in a way that gives them an opportunity to express themselves. Crack a joke, compliment them or the drink they made, ask a kind question, or simply sincerely thank them. Of course, there are many ways we can fail at this! But when was the last time you gave someone a gift just because, had a nice chat with a stranger, or went out of your way to cook a special meal?

Once, I told a young man working at a coffee shop that he was good looking, which made him blush! ;)

Of course I do not extend such niceties to all.  Assholes deserve nothing from me.  I am, after all, a guy who neither forgets nor forgives.

But, when I don't know anything about the strangers, I have nothing to judge them either, which means there is nothing for me to hold against them too, right?

We can’t create these opportunities for shared expression and appreciation if we’re afraid of one another, dismissive, petty, or too quick to stereotype.

Indeed!