"Hey, how are you?" I asked as I placed the items on the checkout counter at my favorite grocery store.
"Awesome!" she replied with a huge smile.
"Awesome, eh. That good a day?"
"I always feel that way, except occasionally when I don't. Like yesterday. Because I am feeling awesome, I didn't even mind the strange joke the other customer said."
She was referring to the older man who was ahead of me and was now out of the hearing range and slowly walking away with the grocery cart.
"Why, what did he say?"
"He said looking at me that Halloween ended five days ago."
She noticed my expression of "I can't believe he said that" and continued, "yeah, I couldn't believe he said that. But, I smiled anyway. He thinks he is funny!"
I hate that kind of humor where the joke is at somebody else's expense. That is nothing but mean. It is a cheap shot. I did a lot of those when I was younger, when I didn't know any better. But, the older I got, the jokes became about me. It is a safe way to deal with the humorous bone in me, which some think doesn't exist!
The Halloween-related conversation in class quickly flashed through in my mind. When students asked me about dressing up in costumes, I gave them my usual line: "every day is Halloween for me. People take one look at me and run away scared."
When a student said he was going to wear a monkey mask and go as a monkey in a suit, I told him that was nothing but the story of my life.
When I am the butt of my own jokes, nobody gets offended. And, I find my own jokes to be funny. So, a win-win.
After all, there are plenty of things that I offer as hilarious punchlines and I make good use of them when the context comes up in conversations.
My height.
Balding head.
Grey.
The way I speak.
Accent.
Divorced state.
I mean, it is an endless list of possibilities, and I am in a comedian's heaven.
I think--no, I am convinced--that to joke about oneself is a reflection of an enormous sense of self-confidence. Up until a couple of years ago, during the final week of the term, I routinely offered students in the intro classes to come up to the front and make fun of the way I teach. Only rarely did students take up the offer. One guy--a faculty colleague's son--did a wonderful job of it as well. In one class, Ermine, who did not take up the offer, commented something along the lines of "oh, a very secure person with false modesty." I was impressed that he made such a comment at the 19 or 20 he was then.
I didn't tell the clerk all these that ran through my mind. She, meanwhile, told me about another customer--an older woman--who apparently always makes mean jokes about her.. "She doesn't know how hurtful her jokes are."
My eyebrows went up with curiosity.
"The latest was when she said, 'I didn't recognize you in your costume, but then I saw your sorry face and I knew it was you'."
Why an old woman would say something like that to a woman at a grocery checkout counter is simply beyond my wildest imagination. I suppose it takes all kinds of people to make up this planet.
She was done with the bagging, and I was done with the paying. "Hey, have fun, as always" I said.
"That's my motto" she replied.
We will enjoy life, despite the odd ones all around.
4 comments:
If it was the lady whom you introduced to me, she should have smacked both the old man and the old woman. That will teach them not to make such horrible "jokes" at the somebody's expense - especially if the somebody is whom you are telling it too. Next time you see her, tell her I told so. One right hook and all will be well :)
You are absolutely right that only a very secure and confident person can joke about himself or herself. And there are far too few such people in the world. In that count too, you are in the 1% crowd. I always knew you were in the 1% as Mitt Romney would define it :):)
You say all those nice things ... and then the Mitt Romney and 1%. As we say in Tamil, "thevayaa athu!" ;)
It was not the bodybuilder you met. Yes, she would have knocked them down dead with her little finger!
I am delighted that you are able to relate to such posts all the more thanks to the visit here ... The next time I see our bodybuilder friend, I will remember to tell her you said hi ;)
Oh ya- A 'joke' like that just completely gives away your personality. I actually end up feeling sorry for the person... wonder what's making the person so grumpy that being mean has become second nature to them- may be they need a hug.. Had it a few times myself, usually doesnt trouble me- but gave a stupid guy good when he said - You wear a sari and you are ready for Carnival!!!!
They don't need a hug, Indu ... they need one heck of a tight squeeze that will choke the very lives out of them .... muahahahaha ;)
Yes, when people think that it is funny when they make mean jokes about others, it does say a lot about them.
Speaking of saris, I recall reading a while back Sashi Tharoor making a comment on this and getting into big time political brouhaha ...
first went the half-sari, and now the sari too .... how sad :(
So ... all the more delighted that you are walking around in a sari ;)
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