Why do I do whatever it is that I do?

Along with the link to a TED talk that a student emailed me, he included a comment, "I feel like this guy stole your idea ..." of course, he was kidding about the stealing--I, too, can recognize a joke ;)

A friend emails me this NY Times piece with a comment "Food for your blog…"

It is a relief knowing that I am not talking to myself, after all, and that there are students listening to me in the classroom, and that there are people reading my blog ;)

It is also a moment, yet again, of profound disappointment--I have been offering such arguments/critiques for years now and the very small part of the world where I interact hasn't paid attention to any of these and other issues at all.  If I were to ask myself what was I able to accomplish by blogging and writing op-eds, I cannot simply think of anything substantive to offer as evidence.

Nothing.
Nada.
Zip.
A big fat zero.

The craziest thing is that years ago, when saying the same things that I say now, I believed that something, somewhere might change for the better as a result.  One benefit in getting older is that I have become wiser--I truly expect nothing as a response to my analysis and understanding of the world.  It is not a matter of setting the bar low, but is a reflection of my understanding that what I say and do are inconsequential.

Yet, I continue to blog and write op-eds. And teach classes in my own ways.

A student asked me a couple of days ago, "how are you so passionate about what you teach and blog?"  Answering the question was easy because I think about that all the time.  Why do I do whatever it is that I do?

It is about giving life my best shot--even while expecting nothing.  Earlier in my life, emotions often ran high within me because of my inability to accept that a big fat zero was the response to my best shot.  Or, a negative too in many cases.  But, now, it is easy--I give it my best, and anything that I get in return is always an unexpected bonus that makes my day.

There is no way but onward and doing whatever it is that I do.