So, that was in September. It was wonderful to read later in November this personal history in the New Yorker, about a "writer spends forty years looking for his bully." The author, Allen Kurzweil, wrote there:
Without time, we cannot learn. Without time, we cannot heal.In his case, it took him four decades of maniacal devotion to track down his bully and make peace with that past. Thankfully, I do not have that mania nor do I have that need to settle that business before I die. If left unfinished, so be it. It will be a long list of unchecked items on my to-do list. This unfinished business is simply not that important.
The world is full of assholes who love to mess around with the lives of others.
What’s the use of getting over things? Wrongs have been perpetrated: assaults on your dignity, your self-image, your fragile well-being. And they’ve gotten away with it—they’re reveling (no doubt prospering), smug in their galling impunity, probably laughing at you even now. Bullies, critics, snobs, the so-called friend who slept with your one true love in college and has now tried to friend you on Facebook as though it never happened. Shitty parents, lecherous mentors, crappy former spouses: It’s a world of assholes out there. Fuck them all.
Forget and forgive, the old saying goes. I could never understand those two. Why forget? Why forgive? "It’s a world of assholes out there. Fuck them all" doesn't mean I should forget nor forgive those who did me wrong. More so when my blood pressure is normal ;)
Especially if you’re a writer: Consider it as the raw material for your next book, for an entire oeuvre, even.
Or, raw materials for the blog-posts for this wannabe writer!
"wallowing is one of life’s great unacknowledged pleasures" as that author puts it in the introductory paragraphs where she reviews Kurzweil's book, from which that New Yorker piece was excerpted.
There is a huge difference, however, between wallowing and viewing the world as a worthless place, versus wallowing while enjoying the world and the vastness of this universe.