Friday, January 23, 2015

Warning: this is one shitty post!

I certainly would not have imagined a classification of, get this, shit.
Yes, poop.
Crap.

Source

The periodic table was a classification. The different blood types, I can understand somebody being interested in. But, seriously, there was a person who decided to categorize different types of poop?  I used to joke that my humor is scatalogical.  But, I can't anymore; those scatalogists will sue the, ahem, crap out of me! ;)
poops come in all shapes and sizes — as shown in the Bristol stool scale, created by the University of Bristol's Ken Heaton, at right — but Chutkan says the ideal poop is a three or four on the scale.
So ... which type are you? Pay attention from now on.  hehehe!

So, is there any good, clean kind?
A very fiber-heavy diet — the type eaten by many people in developing countries, and by some vegetarians in the US — leads to much denser and bulkier poops. "They're bigger movements that come out more easily," she says. "And there's very little need to wipe — it's a much cleaner evacuation."
"Evacuation" is the best possible euphemism here.  "Honey, I will be back after I evacuate" sounds much more confident and purposeful in life than, "Hey, I am going to take a shit."

The piece ends with what, you, and I are familiar with: fecal transplant.  Remember the post from two months ago?  Care to revisit that shitty post? I dare you!  Oh, this includes a warning that fecal transplant should not be tried at home.  Gee, thanks for that!

May you be regular with Bristol #4! ;)




6 comments:

  1. Well said, Ramesh. Succint.

    Sriram, you neglected a term I just learned in reading an article about archaeologists attempting to determine how long humans have inhabited the Americas. It seems that fossilized human feces - coprolites - have been dated to 14000-15000 years ago here in Oregon. How would you like to have the task of dating that specimen?

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  2. Ramesh - is this post sufficiently unphilosophical to make up for the prior post?

    Sriram - from the sublime to the ridiculous.

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  3. Of course, a post might sound all important and profound when presenting some grand idea, like Russell's passions. But, life is a collection of plenty of much more pedestrian activities. Which is why I disagree when you, ahem, hastily flush away the topic of shit ...
    while I blogged in a lighter vein, understanding shit is not by any means secondary to many aspects of human existence. All one needs is a couple of days of horrible constipation or an awful experience of diarrhea to realize that there might be a lot more to shit than we think.

    Yes, the fossilized feces (American spellings only allowed, Ramesh!!!) ... a colleague's husband contributed to that project, and we have had our share of potty humor on that ;)

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  4. And, yes, I love the lighter side of life ... even if I slide down to the ridiculous ;)
    As I often remind students (the endangered species in my classes!) thankfully I have a sense of humor, which provides a wonderful facade to my inner insanely intense old-fashioned academic ;)

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