The US invented the GPS, but it needs a better one now :(

Andy Borowitz tweets this:

Invaded Afghanistan and bin Laden was in Pakistan. Invaded Iraq and WMD are in Iran. US needs better GPS.

Too damn funny, and too damn awfully sad a commentary on two wars that have sucked blood and money all around.

I thought maybe I should check with Glenn Greenwald on the Iran war drum beating back in the US.  Bad idea; he writes that the US media are way ahead of the government itself in leading the "bomb, bomb, Iran" chant :(

It’s just remarkable to watch the American media depict Iran as the threatening, aggressive party here. Literally on a daily basis, political and media figures in both the U.S. and Israel openly threaten to attack Iran and debate how the attack should happen with a casualness that most people use to contemplate what to have for lunch. The U.S. has orchestrated devastating and always-escalating sanctions which, by design, are wrecking the Iranian economy, collapsing its currency, and generating serious hardship for its 75 million citizens. The U.S. military has that country almost completely encircled. The U.S. military behemoth, and Israel’s massive nuclear stockpile and sophisticated weaponry, make the Iranian military by comparison look almost as laughable as Saddam’s. Iran’s scientists have been serially murdered on its own soil, their facilities bombarded with sophisticated cyber attacks, and dissident groups devoted to the overthrow of their government (ones even the U.S. designates as Terrorists) have been armed, trained and funded by Israel while leading American politicians openly shill for them in exchange for substantial payments.
Yet the Manichean narrative driving this NBC report is par for the media course: Iran’s aggression must be contained, and it is leaving the U.S. and Israel with no choice but to pre-emptively attack it.

WTF!

Goldman Sachs to Acquire Treasury Department

In what some on Wall Street are calling the biggest blockbuster deal in the history of the financial sector, Goldman Sachs confirmed today that it was in talks to acquire the U.S. Department of the Treasury.

According to Goldman spokesperson Jonathan Hestron, the merger between Goldman and the Treasury Department is "a good fit" because "they're in the business of printing money and so are we."

 That is the report from Andy Borowitz, which means you ought to know that it is a satire :-) And he ends his report with this:

Elsewhere, conspiracy theorists celebrated the 40^th anniversary of NASA faking the moon landing.

And in South Carolina, Gov. Mark Sanford gave his wife a new diamond ring, while his wife gave him an electronic ankle bracelet.

Obama Considers Tax on Cabinet

President Barack Obama is mulling a controversial new tax program that would require members of his Cabinet to pay taxes owed under the Federal tax code, the White House confirmed today.

While the unorthodox tax proposal is reportedly "only in the planning stages," it is being eyed as a possible way to balance the Federal budget.

"According to projections, if members of the Cabinet actually paid their taxes, we could wind up with a budget surplus in excess of $18.2 billion," said Obama economic adviser Paul Volcker.

Mr. Volcker said he strongly favored the plan, but added, "Fortunately for me, I'm not officially in the Cabinet."

But imposing taxes on Cabinet members may be easier said than done, critics of the plan warn.

"Remember, these people are not used to paying taxes," said one White House source. "They are going to be hopping mad about this."

Another wrinkle in the plan is how the taxes would actually be collected, with President Obama reportedly favoring a cash-at-the-door entry fee for every Cabinet meeting.

"If they don't have the money, they don't get in," said the source. "They're not going to be able to just sail into the White House for free like the Jonas Brothers."

When told of Mr. Obama's plan to make his Cabinet members pay taxes, Fmr. Sen. Tom Daschle responded, "Whew! Sounds like I dodged a bullet."

The world has quite a few funny people, including Andy Borowitz, who wrote that tax piece. I am immensely thankful to all these people who make me laugh.