“To choose is to renounce”

The title of this post, which I came across in this essay, sounds even better in the original French, even though I don't know that language: “choisir, c’est renoncer.”

By choosing one out of the many options that we might have, we are essentially sacrificing all those other options.  And if ever if we have even a little bit of unease with the choice that we made, then forever we could be haunted by the "what if ...?"

A few weeks ago, a couple came over for dinner.  We presented the drink options: wine, soda, and water.  Then came the qualifiers: Red wine, or white wine? Grapefruit soda or blood orange soda?

"There is something called a blood orange?"

I told them that I hadn't known about such an orange until I came to Oregon.  And how it was only here that I also knew about, and came to enjoy, Cara Cara oranges, which are pinkish inside.

I laughingly told them that this is the problem in rich countries: There are always too many choices. 

As brown immigrants, they knew what I was referring to.  Back in our respective old countries, especially when we were younger, there was no choice; we ate and drank whatever that we were given.  I laugh within when I see mothers here in America asking their toddler children what they would like to eat; what does a child know!  It is no laughing matter, however, when a child chooses a super-gulp that the parent is happy to pay for without worrying about the long-term health consequences.

The modern economy presents us with a gazillion choices in everything.  Fifteen years ago, when TED Talk was a thing, Barry Schwartz made a compelling argument about the tyranny of choice.  While we might think that more choices are good, it turns out that decision-making becomes a Himalayan challenge when we are forced to select one out of many.  Have you not been stumped by the health care plans that you are asked to choose from?  Or, heck, even the coffee options?

So, now, we have to learn how to choose.  And want to make sure that we choose well so that we don't have regrets later.

Or, as a first step, we can simply learn to reduce our choices even as the modern economy is hell bent on further increasing the options.  I would think that deciding from fewer choices is easier and a lot less stressful.  And, therefore, less anxiety over what we might have missed out on.

The moral of the story is not difficult to figure out: Without being hasty, reduce the unnecessary decisions that you have to make in a day, and try to get going with the choices that you have.

So, yes, "to choose is to renounce."  Living such a life of systematic and conscious saying no is also perhaps why I come across as a person who knows what he wants, and is quite decisive.  I try my best to ignore the gazillion other options that are not really meaningful choices at all.  Blood orange soda is such an easy call!