Sunday, February 02, 2020

Life of the diasporas

It was a whirlwind trip.  Flying 2,000 miles, spending a night away from home, and then flying those 2,000 miles back--all within 40 hours.

I have never before had such a hectic travel.  But there was a reason.  A great-aunt is on her deathbed--literally--and it was to bid her goodbye at the hospice care.  And to share with her children and grandchildren what a wonderful human she was.

We traded stories celebrating her life.  In a way, the life that is ending also gave us a valuable opportunity to (re)connect after many years.  After all, we no longer live in Pattamadai and Sengottai, where the clan members got to see each other regularly--even daily, if they lived in the same village.  Now, the descendants live far, far away from those villages.  The younger the descendants, the less that they know about the villages and the clan.

"I'm so sorry that I have been out of the loop for so long," said one of the younger ones when I updated her about my life.  But then I know very little about hers.  We live disconnected lives, in contrast to the deeply involved ways of the old.

The hospice staff assigned to care for the aunt were also like us--people who had moved far away from their homes.  From the great ancestral home.

I recognized the accent of one who was there when I first visited the aunt.  It was distinct.  Was she from Ghana?

But, I didn't want to be rude by asking her right then.  I have had too many unpleasant encounters when my Indianness is the first thing that strangers talk to me about.  I would ask her that if I saw her the next day, I decided.

She was there with her smiling, pleasant face the next day too.

"Good morning," she wished us as we walked in.

I was the last one to enter the room.  I walked up to her chair and thanked her.  And then got into the otherness.

"Like us, you too have an accent," I said.

She smiled.  I am always envious of people whose faces radiate their smiles, unlike mine that apparently comes across as nothing but a face that has just sucked sour lemons!

"I am from Ghana."

"That's what I figured, because the way you talk reminded me of my colleague.  I didn't want to ask you that right away yesterday.  I figured I would talk to you about it if you were here today."

She smiled even more.

We quickly chatted about plantains and red-red.  Food is a great uniter!

She asked me only one question that perhaps summed it all up for her.  "Are you a professor?"

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